i felt bad at first, like “fuck, what a waste. i suck at life, i’m wasting my parents money, im missing lectures, im a shitty student.”

then i stopped and thought about it.

i didnt miss classes because i overslept.

i didnt miss classes because i’m lazy.

and i didnt miss classes because i was too busy getting drunk at noon.

i missed my classes because i was setting up a bank account. for my company. my movie production company.

we started our own company.

its just starting to really sink in. we did all the paperwork, filed all the files, dotted all the i’s and crossed all the t’s.

this is it. this is the start of…. i dont know. whatever comes after.

i walked into the bank with my two best friends, carrying stacks of papers and binders and slapped em on some lady’s desk and said “we’re starting a film production company and we need a bank account.”

“do you guys have an office?”

*looks at the stack of papers* its right here.

“oh…. a business phone number?”

nope, just use our cell phones.

“okay… how will you be getting your products out to customers?”

we dont know. we’re not there yet.

we have no idea what we’re doing. we dont know how this will work, or if it will work, or if its a huge waste of time.

but i’m so excited. because the stuff that we dont know, we’re just going to make up and figure out as we go along.

i’m 21 years old and my best friends and i started our own business…..

where to start?

ive been in a strange mood lately. i dont usually talk about myself much, or talk much in general, but lately i’ve just been bubbling over with things to say for some reason.

and i guess now its time to put into words something i’ve kept to myself since probably about 5th grade. my dreams.

because, really, know one knows them. they know snippets. bits and pieces.

“oh yeah, joey, he’s the kid from my hometown who makes movies. he does martial arts. hes the short kid. that about sums him up.”

and, for the most part, i’ve just accepted that. never once did i stand up and say, hey, there’s more to me than that. you make me sound just like another face in the crowd. like someone whos just doing something to pass the time, who will eventually come to terms with reality and accept a real job sitting at a desk in an office of some reputable company selling products he doesnt care about.

well…

thats not me.

(joeys self censoring self who never lets any of this stuff out: *whines* i am different! i am special! theres more to me than that! shut up, joey, get a grip)

yeah, im usually quiet. but i feel like its time people know the true extent of my craziness. I guess i’ve kept it quiet for so long for the same reason most people keep their dreams to themselves. the same reason why so many people just give up and DO accept jobs they dont want and settle for less than they wanted.

so. here it is, all laid out, nice and simple.

joey’s ideal world, everything works out in the end, perfect dream (that he is still at this moment working toward)

[a long pause is taken here as joey delays, browsing various sites like facebook and email pages]

okay.

i like to say this started in 5th grade. thats probably not true, it was probably sooner, but thats the definitive point that i can remember setting this goal.

i have a picture on my phone, which i cant figure out how to upload online, but its a picture of a cutout hand.

my 5th grade {huge pause as i try to upload this photo from my phone}

dammit. well, if i figure it out, the picture will be posted.

anyway.

my 5th grade teacher, mrs. bryant (i cant for the life of me remember what she taught) had us trace our hands and cut out the pictures on colored paper. my paper was red. then we turned in our hands so that she could display them in the class.

she wrote something about each student on their hand before hanging it up. and at the end of the year, she returned everyone’s hand to them.

mine said “Joey C. The next Steven Spielberg”

and i kept it. one of the few things from school that i actually kept. i still have it in my box.

the dream was to win an academy award. theres a fake one sitting on my desk. its a placeholder. a reminder to myself that one day, i need to move this one. because there will be a real one sitting in its place.

and after all these years, i still kept that dream.

except maybe its not that dream. i dont want to be the next steven spielberg. i want to be the first joey corpora.

after going through various stages of my life, i have wanted to be a movie producer (that was the first), then just a director, then a writer and director, then an editor, then a camera man, and SO MANY different jobs involved in film.

and when i made my own movies with the firethorne crew, i COULD do all those things! i had to! i was the only one to depend on. everyone looked to me for all the answers, everything from “how should i say this line?” to “should i step with my right foot or left?”

everyone had total faith in me. the movie was either good or bad because of how much i put into it.

but then i went to film school.

and everyone said, ‘we need to see focus. you can only be one thing. you cant be a director and the cameraman and the editor, along with the costume designer and the sales manager. you need to pick ONE.’

well… why?

i CAN do all those things. yeah, im going to have people helping me, its not going to be a one man movie, but… all of those jobs CAN be done by one person.

so why should i pick one?

i certainly dont have to.

and thats where the big dream comes in.

i dont want to go to hollywood. i dont want to do it their way.

i want to do it MY way. i want to make my own hollywood.

(the crowd gasps, mutters about the stupidity of this kid)

there you go. I said it.

i want to make my own hollywood, where i am in charge. i want to start out directing my own films. once make a name for myself, or somehow aquire the money, i want to BUILD my own production studio.

i want offices, and 2 or 3 sound stages, where i can build sets, or have a green screen room.

i want soundproof rooms where i can record audio.

and then i can start working on my movies there. start distributing those movies on my own, and continue to make a name for myself.

THEN.

i want to acquire other peoples movies. i want to find people who make awesome movies, but have no idea how to get people to see them. i want to slap my name on the dvd cover and sell THEIR movies.

then, when we are big enough, i want people to come to me with scripts. i want people to say, “hey, i have this great idea for a movie, can you make it happen?”

and i want to say “wow, this is great! but im so busy with other movies, and running this company, i just dont have time. but i know a guy whos really looking for a directing job, and he’s great!”

and then OTHER PEOPLE will be making movies at my studio.

i will be the leader, it will be Corpora Pictures or Platypus Underground (if my friends are crazy enough to follow me), and we will create a mini-movie empire.

aaaand…

thats the dream.

the full, big dream.

and fuck all the naysayers. because some day, its going to happen. and that’s not just talk. im working towards that goal every single day.

we already started a small production company.

just you wait and see.

one day there will be an article in the paper, and we will be in the headlines.

i decided to take a scene from kung fu panda to describe my wonderful day of weightlifting today. kale will be playing shifu and i will be po.

Kale- Let's begin.

Joey - Wait, wait, wait.

  
Kale - What?
  
Joey - Now?
Kale - Yes, now.
  
Joey- Oh, OK, well... I don't know
if I can do all of those moves.

  
Kale- Well, if we don't try,
we'll never know, will we?

  
Joey- Yeah, it's just, maybe we can find
something more suited to my level.

  
Kale- What level is that?

  
Joey- Well, I'm not a master, but....let's just start at zero. Level zero.

  
Kale- No. There is no such thing
as level zero.

  
Joey- Maybe I can start with that.
Kale- That? We use that for training children and
propping the door open when it's hot. But if you insist...
  
Go ahead.
Show us what you can do.

  
Joey- Are they gonna watch, or should I wait
till they get back to work?

  
Kale- Hit it.

  
Joey- OK, yeah. I mean, I just ate.
So I'm still digesting. So my lifting might not be
as good as... later on.

  
Kale- Just hit it.

  
Joey- All right.

  
*Joey stares down weights dramatically*

  
Kale- Would you hit it!

  
Joey- All right. All right.

  
Kale- Why don't you try again?
A little harder.

  
Joey- How's that?

  
Kale- This will be harder than I thought...

  
Joey- I'm feeling a little nauseous!

  
*weight lifting concludes*

  
Joey- How did I do?

  
Kale- There is now a level zero.